31st of December 2010. The last day of the year. The day you could say “hey, I’ve made it through 364 days, here’s to the last day, let’s start over.” NYE just reminds me of what a struggle the past 364 days have been, and I honestly really don’t look forward to going back to Day 1. Would it make a difference? What I’m curious to know is how much I’ll change a year from now. What I’ll be thinking of on 31 December 2011. Fuck new year resolutions. Maybe if I just sit out of all the celebrations for NYE and let the time quietly pass til it turns 1-1-11, maybe it won’t feel like Day 1 but Day 366. All I’m saying is, does it even make a difference?
He really loves me and all I feel is g u i l t y.